Surprise! Much to the relief of all you die hard fans out there, I'm back to posting much sooner than expected. If there are any of you who took bets on how long I would truly last in the wilderness, the sceptics who put money on one night are now much richer than before.
Just for a moment, I am going to open up the pages of my journal of private postings so that you can experience the great theological ramblings and discoveries made during my time in the Appalachians.
Take a moment to prepare yourselves for the depths of thought to be achieved.
Sunday July 22nd
"This sucks! Holy Crap this sucks! Time is moving slower than anything and I have nothing to pass the time with! And everything is amplified by the fact that I haven't smoked, I have no smokes and I really want to smoke!!
I've told God that I don't think I can handle this; and I don't. And asked him to give me a clear sign tonight or I am out tomorrow morning. I already planned an escape route.
AHHHHHHH!
I set up camp around 3 o'clock and by 6 o'clock I was considering packing up and leaving as I still am right now, but it is too late already; maybe it's 7 o'clock. I have hours left of daylight and I can hear the bass music of some bar and it's driving me nuts!
How do people honestly do this!? I hate being alone unless I'm in a crowd of people.
My biggest hope right now is that He will not give me a sign tonight and I will be able to leave."
END JOURNAL ENTRY.
Not exactly what I was hoping for.
But what was I seeking? What did I truly want out of my time on the trail? To sit with Jesus around a campfire and sing Kum bah yah with Him (that would be ironic,) or have some great revelation of wisdom that I could share as a blessing to others? Those may be part of my intentions.
But as I reflect, I can tell you that the greatest desire that inspired the 30 day time frame was birthed out of pride and vanity; not so pure hearted as I hoped.
I wanted to be 'that guy.' You know, the cowboy, the mountain man, a Sasquatch. Whatever 'he' is, I wanted to be it. I had an image of a man who is completely secure in who he is wandering the wilderness with his scruffy beard and branch torn jeans completely at peace with nature and his inner something or other. And that was the greater impetus, to add that character to my image.
I am positive that God lead me into the trail. There was something that he wanted me to experience. I had prayed early on that God would break my pride. And continue to keep me in check as my heart would rather make this trip more and more about me. And as I write this post, I am humbled.
You'll note from the date that I have put off writing this for a few days and honestly considered holding off for the remaining 27 then subsequently postdating all of my later posts accordingly. But here I am, admitting to you all; I am no Sasquatch or great revelatory prophet. I am just a sinner, bumbling around the country trying to figure out how to walk.
Since my escape from the wilderness, I have been staying in Gettysburg, where I was immediately taken in by a very kind retired professor. He has been more than hospitable, and as he says, glad for the adventure of hosting me.
I have met so many people here and really had a wonderful time; and yes brother, I did see the battlefields, and even the museum. God willing, I will stay a couple more days before moving on to the rest of my journey as I come nearer and nearer the goal.
I love you all!!
Christopher Andrew.
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5 comments:
Hi Chris. You may feel like you failed and that your pride was burst, but I admire your honesty. I'm glad you got to experience that alone time in the woods. If God is willing, I hope you get to go back.
Something I do know about you, is that I believe you have that inner (whatever you want to call it) ability to go through the scary parts of your journey. When you came out here to California, you didn't know exactly what you were getting into. You came across the country in an old car, alone with God. It's possible with Him :) I don't think God is the kind of god that says "what have you done for me lately?" He delights in you. Whether you see it right away or not, He's raising you as His son. Enjoy that fact.
Love you!
I bet God giggled at this posting just as I did :) Keep going. We're still thinking of you.
The wilderness is in your spirit, Chris. Not in the Appalachians. Love ya brother.
Hello Chris. Was happy to see your post this morning. I spent a few days at the lake and several people from last Saturday asked about you. My mother, being the ultimate Mom, worried that you were alright, and not, per chance, bear food.
After knowing you for just two days, I wondered aloud whether the talky kid in my backyard would be able to spend 30 days alone in the wilderness, but alas, that was for you to discover. If you get back to Chambersburg, feel free to stop in, if not, then I wish you well on the remainder of your journey. I enjoyed the adventure and relish the notion that my friends and I have become a small part of yours. Travel well. Mark
Chris,
I too admire your honesty. I was thinking about how hard a post like that would be to write. It's not just telling a friend, but potentially sharing with thousands, etc. With all the steps it would take to get from your brain to the blog (many chances to stop), that is so admirable.
I was listening to a teaching recently and the guy was saying how we think of God as our savior only when we first meet Him. Or that we can be messed up the first few years in the church and then have to get our act together. I'm slowly realizing that I still am very messy and I need Jesus to save me all the time. It sounds as if you're in the same place. So, I'm glad to be your friend, and still be a mess and still be in need of Jesus.
Jenny Manglos
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